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People People
by Lisa Scottoline I love people. I’m what people used to call a people person. As in, I hug you whether you want me to or not. And lately, everybody wants to be my friend. Normally this would make me...
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Column Classic: Scrambled Eggs
By Lisa Scottoline The hits just keep on coming at the Scottoline farm, where the animals outnumber the people. They like it that way. I don’t, especially when I wonder who’s running the joint. The...
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Column Classic: Princess Lisa
By Lisa Scottoline I live a fairytale existence. But not in a good way. When I was little, I remember reading old-school fairytales, and there was one in which every time a princess spoke, no words...
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Column Classic: Recipe for Disaster
By Lisa Scottoline Turns out you’re never too old to call your mother about a recipe. And regret it. We begin when I decide to cook a nice meal for Daughter Francesca, because we’re about to start...
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Emergency Branzino
By Lisa Scottoline I look on the bright side of things. For example, I went to the ER last night, but at least my socks matched. That’s what I mean. The number of times I wear matching socks in my...
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Column Classic: The Fixer
By Lisa Scottoline You may remember that I’m in Home Improvement Frenzy. Aluminum siding is coming off, cedar shakes are going on. Working at my house today are stonemasons, roofers, and carpenters,...
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Column Classic: Mrs. Elvis
by Lisa Scottoline I was just asked out on a date. By Elvis. For real, kind of. Or, rather, by an Elvis impersonator. He may have left the building, but he still has a laptop. He had evidently...
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Column Classic: Pasta Impasse
by Lisa Scottoline You know how on Facebook people say their relationship is complicated? Well, my relationship just got complicated. I’m talking about my relationship with pasta. Let me take you back...
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Place Your Item in The Bagging Area
by Lisa Scottoline In these difficult times, it’s important to savor the victories. And folks, we won! What am I talking about? That self-service checkouts are going to be scrapped at Walmart, Costco,...
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Creature Feature
by Lisa Scottoline You know that holiday poem that says, “…not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.” It’s a lie. I got creatures, stirring. And they’re making me stir crazy. Let me explain. As...
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Sob Sisters
By Lisa Scottoline One of the greatest things about the holidays is family. But an even greater thing about the holiday is friends. Because they’re the family you choose. And they never ask for money....
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Column Classic: Unresolutions
By Lisa Scottoline This is the time of year when people make New Year’s resolutions, but I have a better idea. By definition, a resolution is something you want to change about yourself, something...
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Column Classic: Rewarding, Or Why Free Is Dumber Than You Think
By Lisa Scottoline Here’s what I’m telling you: beware “rewards points.” What? Yes, that’s right. I said it, and if you remember, it wasn’t always thus. I used to be a big fan of rewards points. Let’s...
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Column Classic: The Off Switch
by Lisa Scottoline Do you remember a commercial that used to say, “Reach out and touch someone?” If you do, you may also recall that the product they were advertising was a telephone. Because back in...
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Peach Forever
By Lisa Scottoline There’s something worse than losing a dog. Losing two dogs. Which just happened in my family. But this column isn’t about death, it’s about life. By way of background, Daughter...
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Column Classic: Lift and Separate
By Lisa Scottoline Once again, you’ve come to the right place. If you read this, you’re going to LOL. But this time, I can’t take the credit. Sometimes the world hands you an ace. All you have to do...
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I’m a Little Teapot
By Lisa Scottoline Once again, I learned something from Daughter Francesca. I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be the other way around. Either she’s a really smart kid or I’m a really dumb mother. We...
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Column Classic: I Like Big Brains and I Cannot Lie
By Lisa Scottoline I have excellent news, ladies. And its excellent news for men too, depending on how they feel about big butts on women. But, men, whatever your opinion, I’m advising you to keep it...
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Column Classic: We Are All Ferraris
By Lisa Scottoline By the time you read this, you will have survived Valentine’s Day. Congrats! I spent mine with dogs and cats, but I’m not all pathetic and sad about it, and if you were in a...
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Column Classic: Thought Bubbles
By Lisa Scottoline You’ve probably seen the Dove commercial in which a forensic artist sketches a woman according to her own description of her face and it turns out terrible, and then sketches a...
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